Final

Self Assessment

            Coming into my first semester at Southern Connecticut State University, I was entirely unprepared for what was awaiting me on campus.  I was expecting it to be what we see in the movies: students magically acing there tests as it cuts to a scene of students parting in their dorms followed by friends meeting up to get food.  I imagined everyday would be a breeze.  Although, with all this in mind, I was aware that school would be challenging.  I knew there would be work involved but I just simply wasn’t prepared to meet the demands of the college education experience.  Graduating from a technical school was a big disadvantage for me while trying to adjust to college requirements.  My high school education consisted of a concentration in the trade selection.  The academic aspect of my high school career was essentially a joke.  The academic program in technical schools, although no one would truly admit this, is designed to escort students to graduation in order to allow them to enter the work force as soon as possible.  This does not assist students in preparing for college.  SAT prep course are not offered and the guidance department encouraged students to attend a community college.  In summation, the only drive that technical students have for furthering their education must come from within.

            Coming to college with this academic background and while writing this self-assessment, I have realized again that I must use this drive to push myself to meet the demands of college.  Simply put, if I can’t get myself moving, I will be left behind and will not succeed in college.  With these disadvantages, I found it easy to make an excuse as to why something couldn’t be done or why I didn’t have to do it at that certain point in time.  If I haven’t learned anything from any of my professors all semester, I have learned that time management is the most important factor in succeed in college.  Procrastination has landed me in some very bad spots this semester: struggling last minute to finish papers, searching for notes right before quizzes to review last minute, etc.  Next semester, after failing in the ways I have this semester, I will be hitting classes with a different type of intensity.  I am making a promise to myself that I will not pass off school as I did myself.  The sad truth is that if I don’t step up my “school game,” I will most likely not make it to graduation or move on to have the career of my dreams. In order to progress in school next semester, I’m going to balance my time out better. The way I’m going to balance my time out better is by devoting more time to schoolwork and studying. In addition to this, I’m also going to try and develop better sleeping habits so that instead of waking up in the morning feeling groggy and tired, I will feel awake, refreshed, and ready to start my school day.

INQ

Being in the INQ learning community has provided me with a comfortable environment to start off my college career.  Seeing the same faces gives people some type of comfort I think because it gives you a sense of being familiar with what is going on around you.  Had I started Southern seeing different people all the time, I wouldn’t really feel like I belonged somewhere.  Be placed in classes with the same students almost gives you that high school feeling of going from class to class with each other which is good in a way.  Our three other classes (or sometimes more) shows us the other side of things so it’s a good balance between the two extremes.

            I think that the comfort feeling is what I will miss most.  Next semester I’m going to be in classes with a bunch of people that I don’t know and will only see the next time I go to that class so it gives less opportunity for a relationship to build between students.  Instead of just being a commuter floating between classes and not really knowing anyone, the learning community also gives me that familiar face feeling throughout the campus and not just in class.  So instead of just walking around not knowing anyone, I can get some comfort from knowing that I recognize someone.  Being in a learning community has given me a few contacts around Southern so I know I can call someone if I need help with a project or want to study with someone.  The learning communities provide a steady and secure bridge for making the connection to the campus community for first time students.

Dreams

            Lately I have been waking up angry in the morning.  It’s not because I woke up on the wrong side of the bed or had a bad night of sleep but it’s because of a more distinct purpose; my dreams.  I have been having dreams of a life that is nothing like mine.  I have been dreaming of waking up feeling care free and secure.   I proceed to walk outside dressed in a suit into the beautiful sun as I push the unlock button to my sports car.  As I go through my day, I am greeted by everyone I see with smiles and handshakes acting as if they are happy to even be in my presence.  In this moment I feel like I am where I’m supposed to be with no more confusion or uncertainty.

The unfortunate thing is I wake up and realize that, in reality, it’s the first time I’ve opened my eyes.  I never saw anything that I saw or felt any of the feelings I felt when I had woken up in my dream.  The frustration I feel after waking up like this tears me apart.  It leaves me disappointed with a false sense of accomplishment.  But I wonder if it’s just a taste of something I’m bound to truly be feeling at some point.  That thought only increases the feelings of disappointment and discouragement.  Is my dream the closest thing that I have to living my ideal life?  My ideal life is one that is filled with confidence, ambition, accomplishment, and happiness.  Waking up to a reality in which these feelings are real is my true desire in life, so for now I’ll let the frustration push me to carry on until I reach my goal.

Food...

I’m so sick of food. I’m sick of making food, and I’m sick of talking about food. Since I was fourteen I’ve been cooking, talking about, and selling different kinds of food. As much as I love it, it’s been my job for too long for me not to know the ins and outs of food; how it’s made, how it’s served, how it’s eaten, and who’s washing the dishes. Working in the restaurant business has given me a lot of knowledge about food and takes away the fun of just sitting down and eating a good meal. Instead of just being a normal person sitting down and enjoying their meal, I spend the time of my meal wondering how each portion of the meal was prepared, how the cook incorporated different ingredients to produce different flavors, and what else could have been done to increase the quality of the meal. While at a restaurant, I spend more time wondering what the kitchen looks like, what type of food is used, and what style of cooking is most commonly used. Did they fry, pan sear, or grill their chicken? These are the types of things I think about because of my experience in working at a restaurant. Before the meal comes I’m ready to critique it, and while I’m waiting for the meal I’m critiquing the service of the restaurant. I feel as if I cannot just enjoy food anymore because I’ve spent too much time working with it. So if you would like the best tasting fettuccine Bolognese let me know, but I’m not going to enjoy it with you. 

What's the situation?

    Difficult situations are pretty much second nature to me.  Frequently, I have found myself in situations that I would love to run and hide from.  The unfortunate truth is that no matter how difficult and unpleasant situations might be, we have to face them and fight our hardest to make it out of them.  No person has been successful without overcoming a difficult situation or obstacle and knowing this helps me push through every difficult situation I encounter.  No matter how big or how small the situation, they all should be faced with the same mentality: It can be done.

    Having to balance working two jobs and going to school full time is my most difficult situation so far during this semester. Meeting different deadlines pertaining to each obligation has been the hardest struggle within this situation because there are so many different requirements that need to be met weekly. For example, I have to make sure my blogs are done on time along with making sure all of my paperwork is collected and handed in on time to the Director of Underwriting at the financial group.  With all the typing and writing I have to do, it’s easy to forget or lose track of what needs to be handed in and when. I should probably make use of my daily planner although time goes by so quickly that by the time I look at it I’m a couple of days behind. 

I'm down for whatever, you just lead the way.

     During the course of my life, there have been many times when I needed to step up to the plate and be a leader when no one else would.  From the time when I was in elementary school and all throughout my schooling, I was used to taking the initiative and leading my group or class to get the project done or goal achieved. When I was in middle school, I remember being the student in my groups who got everyone focused and working together instead of messing around with other students like everyone else.  I have always taken work seriously and when its time to get it done I’m usually always the first to get started.

     Every November at Platt Technical High School, there would be a school wide canned food drive that helped stock the Milford Food Bank and feed the hungry during the holiday season.  The school always made it a competition between the freshman, sophomore, junior and senior classes hoping to inspire students to take part in the food drive.  In November of 2008, I took the food drive to another level.

    After working with my principal and student government, I was allowed to personally raise funds for the food drive.  So instead of just gathering canned foods from students, I was permitted to collect monetary donations that would in turn be used to buy more canned goods to be entered into the drive.  Every week, I persistently gathered money from faculty and students to support the food drive.  After three weeks, I collected over $1000 and purchased canned foods that filled three pick up trucks.  My principal allowed me and students of my choice to leave school in Milford, drive to Price Rite in Bridgeport and buy almost everything they had stocked.  

    At the end of the food drive, there were 16000 non perishable food items donated school wide and I was responsible for funding and purchasing roughly 10000 of those items.