Dreams

            Lately I have been waking up angry in the morning.  It’s not because I woke up on the wrong side of the bed or had a bad night of sleep but it’s because of a more distinct purpose; my dreams.  I have been having dreams of a life that is nothing like mine.  I have been dreaming of waking up feeling care free and secure.   I proceed to walk outside dressed in a suit into the beautiful sun as I push the unlock button to my sports car.  As I go through my day, I am greeted by everyone I see with smiles and handshakes acting as if they are happy to even be in my presence.  In this moment I feel like I am where I’m supposed to be with no more confusion or uncertainty.

The unfortunate thing is I wake up and realize that, in reality, it’s the first time I’ve opened my eyes.  I never saw anything that I saw or felt any of the feelings I felt when I had woken up in my dream.  The frustration I feel after waking up like this tears me apart.  It leaves me disappointed with a false sense of accomplishment.  But I wonder if it’s just a taste of something I’m bound to truly be feeling at some point.  That thought only increases the feelings of disappointment and discouragement.  Is my dream the closest thing that I have to living my ideal life?  My ideal life is one that is filled with confidence, ambition, accomplishment, and happiness.  Waking up to a reality in which these feelings are real is my true desire in life, so for now I’ll let the frustration push me to carry on until I reach my goal.